Parenting is a journey...…Basic ingredients (sequel)

Parenting is a journey.....basic ingredients👪

Effective communication

1. Body language or non-verbal behaviour: Body language carries an influential impact during communication particularly facial expression and gesture. Be mindful of non-verbal behaviour while talking to your children, it has a long-lasting impact on their character building. The way you move your hand or finger, rolling your eyes, shaking your head, shrugging your shoulder, what posture you are in, and the most meaningful and influential is your facial expression

Insight 👀

• your child is briefing you something serious and you have no facial expression or eye contact or with indifferent gesture
• your child is telling you something funny, but you are looking somewhere or having a serious facial expression
• your child is sharing something but you are in a hurry or even busy thinking something else
• your child expressing some negative emotions but you are not addressing it adequately or  not meeting that need on time by showing non-verbal support or gesture 
• your child is sharing a secret but you start rolling up your eyes or start shouting or yelling

Ask these questions to yourself.

1. Do you consider that these expressions are meaningful or facilitate a healthy development or an optimistic state of intellect? 
2. What sort of fulfillment your child is carrying or what kind of frame of mind a child is up to?

As a parent or guardian, you ought to ask these questions to yourself while talking to the child. Do you believe that the next time your child will reach out to you and share something!! ask yourself (communication gap might be leading to generation gap)

Food for thought Have you ever consider that as a parent, what type of body language you like whenever you meet your friends or colleague or relative? This perspective will give you insight and highlight the importance of non-verbal behaviour or communication while speaking to your child

2. Acceptance: Whatever is your child discussing with you or sharing, you have to accept it instead of rejecting it. That's the key to minimizing the communication gap. A child is more open up if being accepted by their parents. Food for thought: A child is always accepted by their friends or peer and as a parent, you always wonder about peer pressure or influence because you as a parent do not accept the feelings and emotions of a child

3. Unconditional regard: Always love your child unconditionally. Never and ever impose any condition for acceptance, for instance

• whenever you follow my command, I respect you 
• or I appreciate you if you keep silent

This way actually you are teaching a child that love is conditional. As a human being, we all need unconditional love and acceptance. What if a child reflects that condition on you?

Food for thought, a child is always unconditionally accepted by their friends or peer, that's why parents are some times incapable to manage peer pressure and complain

4. Identify triggers: As a parent or guardian, it is your responsibility to understand and respond according to the feelings and emotional state of your child. That's the cue you need to address carefully. 

Insight 👀: For instance, a child is crying, sad or silent or emotionally disturbed, as a parent it is your understanding and assessment then respond accordingly

5. Validate feelings and emotions: This is genuinely important, given the fact that as an adult, we also need assurance from other people. It gives an idea that someone understands feelings and emotions, on the other hand, it leads to satisfaction and strengthen relationship. For instance, if you just add these comments during a conversation

• I can understand your feelings
• I know what you mean by that
• I am delighted that you are sharing this
• I am satisfied, the way you explain this.......

6. Reflect on your child's strengths: Whenever your child is conversing to you, find something complimentary and reflect on it. It will boost self-esteem and confidence. Be optimistic. For instance

• I know you are trying hard 
• I noticed that you try to complete assignments on time
• You are such an impressive child
• You always respect people around you

7. Be present with the child: Be mindful while talking to your child, maintaining eye contact and always has a welcoming gesture. Be present with the present moment and respond accordingly

There are four crucial timings of your child and it has to be handled carefully

 

1. Morning time: It's a time when a child transitions from one state of mind to another and need to be handled carefully or mindfully. For instance

• How do you wake your child up?
• How do you greet him/her?
• How is your mood at that time?
• What kind of rituals you follow?
• What type of communication you do?
• What sort of interaction you are up to?

You need to ask these questions to yourself and figure out the most pleasing way to welcome from sleep to wakening state of mind. Do you think, it can make a difference in your child's emotional health. 

A hint can be given to you: 

"Take a deep breath, with a positive state of mind, maintain a pleasant mood and having a smile on your face. Now you are ready to wake your child up"

2. School time: It is even a delicate time to handle carefully when a child going to school. As a guardian/parent, you set the tone for the rest of the day through your behaviour and gesture. What if a child carries a sad mood or moaning, not speaking or listening state of mind and going to school? Do you consider that a child can concentrate or focus on learning?  Think wisely

3. Back home: It has its own significance because your child coming back with lot of knowledge and holding something to share with you. For instance,

• What if you are busy at that moment? 
• What if you are exhausted and having no stamina left? 
• Or you are busy watching TV or over the smart phone? 
• What if you are not at home?

A hint is given to you!

"Always get ready to welcome your child, dress up adequately, tie your hair, and unengaged your self with any other activity, or eat something for good stamina and feel fresh. Now you are ready to meet and greet your child"

Do you believe that it can make a difference? Think wisely

4. Bedtime: It is the crucial moment and retaining long lasting influence in the development of nature and character building. Whatever emotional state your child at the time of sleeping may stay longer. So be mindful at this time. At this point, as a parent, you can easily understand and figure it out the best way for your child emotional and psychological well being

Parenting is a journey..... the motto of this sequel to guide and support the parents' community around the world and make their parenting journey hassle-free and enjoyable. If you have any question or concern, please feel free to ask or comment below

Parenting is a journey..... Basic ingredients

Parenting is a journey....holding multiple folds and every fold has its own perspective and philosophy

The language of parenting carries multiple layers and it is used to represent the character who is taking care of a child, that might be a guardian, custodian, caregiver or caretaker, single parent, or both parents. So the word parenting symbolizes the connection between a child and a parent in the form of guardian or caretaker or biological parents. 

The parenting journey has multiple connotations and intents whereas some required components will make this journey hassle-free, smooth, pleasurable, enjoyable, and satisfying, in the end, every caregiver and guardian needs that peace of mind. Here are some basic approaches to heed mindfully

Effective communication: 

Communication is the key to every connection including the relationship with your children. Communication has numerous pieces /components and manifestations i.e. listening, speaking, and body language. If all pieces are put together, communication might be effective and promote a healthy relationship between a caregiver and a child

Talking or speaking itself has numerous expressions including what/how to initiate conversation, it has many layers and these layers have a significant impact on a child's mental and emotional development. Components are:  

listening: Adequate listening offers a vision to the spokesperson for being heard properly and that vision promotes or strengthens the relationship between caregiver and a child. Anyway, keep in mind while listening to your child:

• Be genuine 

• Maintain eye contact 

• Managing facial expressions 

• Minimizing physical distance

• Do not entertain any other activity

• Concentrate on whatever is being expressed

Adapt listening mood/attitude, gazing into eyes, paying attention, and responding accordingly. This mindset and attitude will facilitate a healthy connection between caregiver and a child and fulfillment of the need of being listened to or heard adequately

Speaking: Here comes the story!

• Scenario or situation truly counts, for instance, the exact sentence carrying a distinct result, if communicated in the playground or at home or while roaming around the community. So be mindful regarding the scenario while speaking to your kid (you can conduct an experiment and have your own discovery)

• The subject or matter you are about to discuss with the child has its own significance, although you have to be mindful to understand the remaining aspects of speaking

• The sentence phrasing and language itself contain many expressions and coatings including vocabulary and wording you picked for communication. Be aware of the selection of vocabulary, always use high-frequency or high energy or high vibrating words or vocabulary, it does not only bring positive energy but also keeps your child's morale high. For instance, interpret these five sentences and it impacts your child's well being 

• You are a good girl 
•  You are a smart girl
•  You are a competent girl
•  You are a brilliant girl
• On many occasions, I discovered that you are a thoughtful and considerate girl

Can you see the difference between all five-sentences phrasing and their vocabulary? Do you think that selection of vocabulary has an impact on your child's emotional and behavioural well-being? Do you think that vocabulary really matters?

• The tone or the pitch of your voice has a mark on your listener, for instance, you are loud, noisy, yelling, shouting, screaming, or articulating softly or holding a tone in a sweet manner, all these styles/tones will retain their own influence on your listener. If you articulate softly and have a sweet tone instead of yelling or being loud, do you think that can make a huge difference? or what is being said and what is being heard?

😊Take your own example, you always enjoy those individuals who maintain a soft/gentle or sweet tone, you always find charisma in their communication and you try to avoid those who always scream, cry or have a critical approach. Think about it!

• How to wrap up a conversation while speaking to your kid? it has a long-lasting impact on the well-being of your child given the fact that the child will carry or absorb that energy and will continue the rest of the day or time with that punch or hit. Always wrapping up with high frequency or high energy sentences, maybe your child is heading to school or moving to the bed for a sound sleep or study or going to work on any assignment. Do you believe that your way of wrapping up communication might carry an impact on the subsequent activity your child is about to get involved in?? Think about it!

Insight 👀

• listening to the parents or caregivers: Nowadays you can listen from parents or caregivers that children do not listen to them or do not pay attention to what is being spoken to them

• Rationale: The reason for the above complaint, as a matter of fact, parents did not realize the significance of listening, so the children did not learn the proper attitude or listening skills from their parents (sorry to say). When they were young, parents did not listen to them properly or missed that listening opportunity 

It was mentioned earlier how much listening and speaking attitude from a communication perspective is important for a child well being and healthy behaviour as well as it has the most significant impact on their life

Topic to be continued......
If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask or comment below