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Hello 2021 at this time of the COVID 19

               Photo courtesy by Ayesha Raees

10 functional resolutions for this year 

2020 was offbeat for everyone including children. Everything has evolved differently since this pandemic commenced. It has been challenging for parents to manage and take care of their children while physical restrictions are being practiced, wearing a mask and frequent hand washing. These are new norms for the society at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic. There are many pieces that have to be addressed mindfully at the start of 2021 for children. Here are some recommendations, for instance:

1. Focus on reading: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, while children are staying at home because of the spread of novel coronavirus. It is time to concentrate on strengthening reading attitudes. Reading for children or reading with them is significantly linked with academic success. Reading itself manifests a variety of perspectives including broadening their imagination, vision, creativity, insight, learning new vocabulary, new concepts/ideas and problem-solving strategies. Focus on reading at this year of 2021 

2. Concentrate on writing skills: Writing skills are the code of academic success. Every parent desires their children academically successful. Focusing on writing skills has to be their commitment to the year 2021. The writing illustrates in many forms including, writing gratitude or sorry note, creative writing, journaling, dictation, cursive writing, or in the form of homework. Writing encourages children to translate ideas into a paper. Children will use their imagination, creativity, fabrication, usage of vocabulary, enhance sentence making, intensify eye and hand coordination, improve fine motor skills. magnify focus and concentration. Overall improve the personal, social, and academic performance of children. Keep writing and keep shining 

3. Teach them self care: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic and spread of the novel coronavirus, educate your children about self-care. It is a life skill and benefits them to have a healthy life throughout their life span. You can have a conversation about self-care, or read a story with the description of self-care, or watch a movie with the self-care concept or let them read an article regarding the significance of self-care. All these strategies will support them to understand the self-care notion

4. Emotional care: Educate children, how to take care of emotions at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic. This pandemic affecting children's emotions negatively. Teach them deep breathing, gratitude, journaling, resiliency, yoga, meditation, activities that make them relax or soothes their emotions. There is no harm to seek professional guidance for the sake of emotional care if something bothering you as a parent

5. Physical care: Physical care is as necessary as emotional care. At this time of COVID 19, concentrate on eating nutritious food, walk, exercise, proper sleep, weather-appropriate clothing, and physical activities at this year 2021. Don't overlook to follow 2-meter social distance, wearing a mask and frequent hand washing are the basic recommendations of this year 2021

6. Start a new hobby: Encourage your child to commence a new hobby. It is always pleasant to try new ideas. This year 2021, try some rock painting, doodling, sketching, photography, recycling and anything that fascinate your child

7. Start learning a new language: This year 2021, let your child learn a new language, for instance, Chinese, French, Persian, Urdu, English, or Spanish. Free youtube videos are available for learning a new language. Duolingo is an app, free and easy to learn a variety of languages

8. Acquire new skills: Learning new skills help to stimulate the brain and improve its function. As a parent, you need to explore the interest of your child and then concentrate on learning. For learning new skills, you can follow youtube channels, or read a book related to the topic, follow a blog, take online classes, watch tutorials or contact someone who knows those skills. There are many ways to learn new skills at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic while having social distancing in practice

9. Focus on organizing life: This is the fundamental skill for the child to acquire at an early stage of life. The child may incorporate this skill later in their life, for instance, organizing desk, documents, home, and even their life. So make it 2021 resolution for concentrating on organizational skills at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic

10. Focus on promoting a healthy relationship with the child: While staying at home due to COVID 19 restrictions, and social distancing law is followed, so try to concentrate on developing a healthy relationship with your child and family members. It is highly recommended in 2021, you can follow some guidelines for improving relationship, for instance, focus on communication skills, respect your child, listen properly, and most notable perspective is that always address their emotional and physical requirements or needs on time

If you have any question or concern, please feel free to ask or comment below

Parenting is a journey....

 5 ways to bye-bye 2020

2020 was distinctive for everyone including children. It was spent differently, for instance, wearing a mask, following 2-meter physical distance and frequent hand washing were mandatory. The lockdown was encountered first time ever in history, and inconvenient for many people to pursue restrictions, and harder for children in many ways. There are 5 healthy ways for children to say bye-bye to 2020

1. Say goodbye to 2020: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, people are stressed and want some happiness and joy. Say goodbye to 2020 with your family, prepare some feast, dressed up nicely and have some photos for officially saying goodbye. This way saying good, affect your feelings and emotions. Many things have to say goodbye to 2020 including habits, way of thinking and more importantly, teach your child that let it go and go

2. Reflect on 2020: Let your child reflect on 2020. Let the emotions and feelings vent, don't forget to validate their sentiments. At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic and end of this year, everyone needs to reflect on 2020. End of this year, the family sit together and reflect on 2020. Don't forget to support each other 

3. Gratitude for 2020: Don't forget to practice gratitude at the end of 2020 with your children. Appreciate and be thankful for whatever you have in your life. Make gratitude a ritual for your family. Children might be grateful for being healthy, having a roof over their head, having support from parents and many other things in their life. Children can write a gratitude note for their parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbours and for grandparents for their untiring effort and support

4. Coping strategies practiced in 2020: Let your child focus on the strategies, that helped better cope with the effect of the COVID 19 pandemic. Help them understand coping strategies and also let them realize those coping strategies would benefit 2021. For practical and functionality purposes, prepare a list of coping strategies that help them most and add something new for 2021. For instance, the list has 5 coping strategies, this time you can add 2 more and discuss them with your child. Let them practice

5. Resolutions for 2021: Help your child prepare some realistic resolutions for 2021. Resolutions or goals have to be SMART and realistic at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic. Resolutions will help them to focus on and influence their behaviour. At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, try to invest something in self-care including physical, and emotional care 

If you have any question or concern, please feel free to comment below

Parenting is a journey.....Winter holidays (part two)

How to spend holidays at this time of the COVID 19 Pandemic: Some fun-loving strategies to follow mindfully 

1. Meditation time: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, meditation time is an essential requirement for better cope with the effect of the novel coronavirus. This pandemic not only affecting everyone physically but emotionally too. Meditation time for children, for instance, listening to meditation tune, yoga posture, deep breathing and mindfulness movements. Best timing for practicing, before sleeping and after wakening up in the morning and during the day if the child is not feeling relax or calm

2. Bubble bath: Throughout this holiday season, a bubble bath for a child is a classic idea to enjoy and soothes emotions. Bubble baths can be taken to the next level by adding some calming music, lit some candles and let the children enjoy. This type of bubble bath is soothing and pacifying, let them try it this holiday season

3. Practice gratitude: Gratitude is a natural antidepressant, given the fact that whenever mind shifts or look at the positive side, it releases chemicals that induce happiness, joy and elevate mood. Make it a routine with your child to practice gratitude. It can be practiced before having meals, during a walk, before sleeping and whenever having happy moments, just be grateful and appreciative. Let them write a gratitude note everyday, after spending some time, it will be their habit

4. See older photos and videos: A glimpse of older photos and videos always induce pleasure and happiness. This holiday season, revisiting pictures, photographs, and videos will benefit children to reconnect with the stunning junctures of their life

5. A word of the day exercise: As a mental health practitioner, I would highly recommend a word of the day activity. A word is selected for the day and request children to describe its significance and usage. You can help them to understand it's worth and knowledge. For instance, ACCEPTANCE is the word of the day and let your children interpret, describe and make a sense of it. Here is the tricky part: during the day from time to time, you can describe acceptance, how it affects our relationship, and make our life easy if we accept each other, let them write a note about acceptance. For younger children, let them memorize the spelling. Words can be used for this activity at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, respect, care, values, kindness, health, resiliency, sympathy, civilization, community, compassion, happiness, satisfaction, siblings, parents and value of a home. You can choose a word according to your culture, values and requirements. It will help a child to better understand and practice values

6. Talk to them about physical and emotional health: This pandemic is not only affecting our mental and physical health but affecting our children's emotional health. At this time of the holiday season, you can discuss dimensions connected to physical and emotional wellbeing. Let them read an article about self care etc

7. Watch motivational videos or listen to a podcast: This holiday season, particularly this time, everything has changed and encountered differently. Watching motivational videos or listening to a podcast, is another way to keep morale intensified at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic. Podcast and videos positively impact children's mood and attitude

8. Virtual tours/shows: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, all facilities are terminated but allowing free virtual journeys for the public. Nowadays the Royal Ontario Museum, Toronto Zoo, Ripley Aquarium and Art Gallary of Ontario allow free virtual tours. let your child explore facilities and enjoy virtually

9. Winter recreational activities: Winter is truly a fun time at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic while staying at home. Weather indicates that upcoming days are filled with snow, children can be taken for snow sliding, making snowman and snow balls to play with. Take your family outdoor while snowing, walk and enjoy mindfully. It's a calming and soothing workout, don't forget to capture these cherished moments

10. A long drive: Preparations are progressing well for welcome new year's eve but it is being celebrated differently at this time. Take your children for a long drive and show them all lighting at the end of 2020. I might be taken children Niagra falls for a long drive 

11. Virtual party with friends: Let your children have a virtual gathering during this holiday season. Children will be connecting via zoom or WhatsApp video call. Let them follow a theme for food, clothing, or wearing a costume. It will be a fun activity for children 

12. Talk to grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins: This holiday season, while restrictions are imposed, children can not visit their grandparents or meet their cousins. Video or audio call is a wonderful approach to connect with the loved one, here or back home

If you have any question or concern, please feel free to comment below

Parenting is a journey.....Winter holidays (part one)

How to spend holidays at this time of the COVID 19 Pandemic: some fun-loving strategies to follow mindfully

At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, holidays are around the corner and spend differently than before. As a mental health practitioner and a parenting coach, I want to share some fun-loving, helpful and important approaches to pursue mindfully. As a mom of three children, I planned some activities that are already outlined and discussed with my children. You might get inspired by some of the concepts

1. Structure and prepare in advance for each day: It is an excellent approach to plan each day. It will help you to organize a day, once you commencing this holiday season. While outlining, you can ask your children to add ventures for the day that fascinate them. It's easy to open a planner and follow recorded activities. It will convey enthusiasm, pleasure and satisfaction to their life. At the end of the day, children could tick ✔ activities that already performed, it will convey a sense of accomplishment to them

2. Get prepared/ready and welcome each day: This season, while staying at home, after having breakfast, dress up appropriately, do hairstyling and get ready to embrace each day (not in pyjamas or night suits). It might be communicating a sense of readiness, transition, and will bring a desire to accomplish something. It has a positive influence on your emotional health 

3. A daily trek and snapshot of nature: Walk has to pursue religiously, throughout this holiday season at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, youngsters will be moving with you for a trek and you can add some adventure for them to let them carry their cameras to capture stunning trek and field. Kids will be in the natural environment, connect with nature and spend some time outdoors while maintaining physical distancing and wearing a mask. It will have a positive impact on their physical and mental health

4. Watch a movie that has a moralistic message: There are a variety of movies that teaches valuable lessons and create a positive impression on their young minds. After watching a movie, they can write a reflection and you have a conversation regarding moral teaching in that movie. You can ask, for instance, what is the inspiration and messages are learnt? Movies could be watched during this holiday season, for instance, English winglish, Ramchand Pakistani, I am kalam, Chalk and duster, Hichki, baby day out, Stanely ka Dabba, The Lion King, Elf, Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory, Home alone, Our planet, Finding Nemo, The Bee, Mulan, and 3 idiots. All of these movies have a strong message and have a positive influence on children's well-being. Comment below, what are the movies you are going to watch with your family this holiday season? Your suggestions can help someone to find a good movie

5. Preparing favourite meals for them: This holiday season, at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, cooking delicious feasts for your family will be a yummy surprise for them. All of their favourite meals can be cooked or baked. Baking is a really fun and highly engaging activity for youngsters. You can find any recipe or video on YouTube, for instance, Chinese cuisine, Italian menu, Pakistani dishes, Russian courses, Hyderabadi meals, Fast Food and anything you imagine. This time soothes taste bud and eats nutritious food. Don't forget to consume fresh fruits and vegetables

6. Play board games every day, at least one: This holiday season is different, try to bring positivity and joy in the family environment and incorporate one game to play with your family daily. Games could be played with the family, for instance, liddo, Chinese checker, Cards, Puzzles and Kids' charades (the fun acting game). Playing these games provoke laughter, enjoyment, happiness at home and also strengthen family ties. What is your family's favourite game that plays together? Feel free to comment below as it might be a source of inspiration for someone

7. One country a day: At this time of the COVID 19 pandemic, I found one country a day activity highly entertaining and fascinating. Select a country and watch its historical and cultural documentary on YouTube or national geographic. Kids will learn a culture, food, currency, customs, geographic location and related information. Kids can track that country on a Google map and calculate its distance, and find neighbouring countries. This activity is free of cost and producing a long-lasting impression on youngsters mind

8. Reading time: This season has to be utilized wisely. You can request a child to read for you and then explain the given scenario. This way, a child will use imagination to explain the concept and on the other side, it will benefit them to develop their comprehension skills. My middle one is skilled at interpreting concepts and the youngest one a soft reader. I appreciate and enjoy both versions

9. Paint some rocks: This holiday season is distinct than before, I and the kids are going to paint rocks for my upcoming blogs and publications. we also plan to paint some emojis rocks, gratitude rocks, positive rocks, and compassion rocks. Painting rocks improve focus, concentration, eye-hand coordination, fine motor skills and releases stress and anxiety symptoms. Same benefits could be achieved through painting, doodling, sketching and drawing. I would recommend these activities for the holiday season at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic

10. Deep breathing competition: If you have more than one child, practice deep breathing competition, for instance, ask them to take a deep breath from their nose, hold it for a moment then blow out from mouth with a whooshy sound. Count their deep breath. Deep breathing stimulates them to release stress, tension, worry or relax/calm them down instantly at this time of the COVID 19 pandemic while staying at home during this holiday season

11. Help them to set their closet: You can teach them a variety of skills, while helping them to set their closet, for instance, how to organize/arrange garments, folding clothes, arrange in a sequence and maintaining a wardrobe. Keep supporting them, one day, you will be surprised 

12. Prepare donation box: Educate them on the significance of donation by preparing a donation box. Any gift items, clothing, books, stationaries, shoes, toys or anything extra or not in use. You can purchase some brand-new articles for donation and discuss their meaning with them (To be continued)

 If you have any question or concern, please feel free to ask or comment below

Parenting is a journey...…Basic ingredients (sequel)

Parenting is a journey.....basic ingredients👪

Effective communication

1. Body language or non-verbal behaviour: Body language carries an influential impact during communication particularly facial expression and gesture. Be mindful of non-verbal behaviour while talking to your children, it has a long-lasting impact on their character building. The way you move your hand or finger, rolling your eyes, shaking your head, shrugging your shoulder, what posture you are in, and the most meaningful and influential is your facial expression

Insight 👀

• your child is briefing you something serious and you have no facial expression or eye contact or with indifferent gesture
• your child is telling you something funny, but you are looking somewhere or having a serious facial expression
• your child is sharing something but you are in a hurry or even busy thinking something else
• your child expressing some negative emotions but you are not addressing it adequately or  not meeting that need on time by showing non-verbal support or gesture 
• your child is sharing a secret but you start rolling up your eyes or start shouting or yelling

Ask these questions to yourself.

1. Do you consider that these expressions are meaningful or facilitate a healthy development or an optimistic state of intellect? 
2. What sort of fulfillment your child is carrying or what kind of frame of mind a child is up to?

As a parent or guardian, you ought to ask these questions to yourself while talking to the child. Do you believe that the next time your child will reach out to you and share something!! ask yourself (communication gap might be leading to generation gap)

Food for thought Have you ever consider that as a parent, what type of body language you like whenever you meet your friends or colleague or relative? This perspective will give you insight and highlight the importance of non-verbal behaviour or communication while speaking to your child

2. Acceptance: Whatever is your child discussing with you or sharing, you have to accept it instead of rejecting it. That's the key to minimizing the communication gap. A child is more open up if being accepted by their parents. Food for thought: A child is always accepted by their friends or peer and as a parent, you always wonder about peer pressure or influence because you as a parent do not accept the feelings and emotions of a child

3. Unconditional regard: Always love your child unconditionally. Never and ever impose any condition for acceptance, for instance

• whenever you follow my command, I respect you 
• or I appreciate you if you keep silent

This way actually you are teaching a child that love is conditional. As a human being, we all need unconditional love and acceptance. What if a child reflects that condition on you?

Food for thought, a child is always unconditionally accepted by their friends or peer, that's why parents are some times incapable to manage peer pressure and complain

4. Identify triggers: As a parent or guardian, it is your responsibility to understand and respond according to the feelings and emotional state of your child. That's the cue you need to address carefully. 

Insight 👀: For instance, a child is crying, sad or silent or emotionally disturbed, as a parent it is your understanding and assessment then respond accordingly

5. Validate feelings and emotions: This is genuinely important, given the fact that as an adult, we also need assurance from other people. It gives an idea that someone understands feelings and emotions, on the other hand, it leads to satisfaction and strengthen relationship. For instance, if you just add these comments during a conversation

• I can understand your feelings
• I know what you mean by that
• I am delighted that you are sharing this
• I am satisfied, the way you explain this.......

6. Reflect on your child's strengths: Whenever your child is conversing to you, find something complimentary and reflect on it. It will boost self-esteem and confidence. Be optimistic. For instance

• I know you are trying hard 
• I noticed that you try to complete assignments on time
• You are such an impressive child
• You always respect people around you

7. Be present with the child: Be mindful while talking to your child, maintaining eye contact and always has a welcoming gesture. Be present with the present moment and respond accordingly

There are four crucial timings of your child and it has to be handled carefully

 

1. Morning time: It's a time when a child transitions from one state of mind to another and need to be handled carefully or mindfully. For instance

• How do you wake your child up?
• How do you greet him/her?
• How is your mood at that time?
• What kind of rituals you follow?
• What type of communication you do?
• What sort of interaction you are up to?

You need to ask these questions to yourself and figure out the most pleasing way to welcome from sleep to wakening state of mind. Do you think, it can make a difference in your child's emotional health. 

A hint can be given to you: 

"Take a deep breath, with a positive state of mind, maintain a pleasant mood and having a smile on your face. Now you are ready to wake your child up"

2. School time: It is even a delicate time to handle carefully when a child going to school. As a guardian/parent, you set the tone for the rest of the day through your behaviour and gesture. What if a child carries a sad mood or moaning, not speaking or listening state of mind and going to school? Do you consider that a child can concentrate or focus on learning?  Think wisely

3. Back home: It has its own significance because your child coming back with lot of knowledge and holding something to share with you. For instance,

• What if you are busy at that moment? 
• What if you are exhausted and having no stamina left? 
• Or you are busy watching TV or over the smart phone? 
• What if you are not at home?

A hint is given to you!

"Always get ready to welcome your child, dress up adequately, tie your hair, and unengaged your self with any other activity, or eat something for good stamina and feel fresh. Now you are ready to meet and greet your child"

Do you believe that it can make a difference? Think wisely

4. Bedtime: It is the crucial moment and retaining long lasting influence in the development of nature and character building. Whatever emotional state your child at the time of sleeping may stay longer. So be mindful at this time. At this point, as a parent, you can easily understand and figure it out the best way for your child emotional and psychological well being

Parenting is a journey..... the motto of this sequel to guide and support the parents' community around the world and make their parenting journey hassle-free and enjoyable. If you have any question or concern, please feel free to ask or comment below

Parenting is a journey..... Basic ingredients

Parenting is a journey....holding multiple folds and every fold has its own perspective and philosophy

The language of parenting carries multiple layers and it is used to represent the character who is taking care of a child, that might be a guardian, custodian, caregiver or caretaker, single parent, or both parents. So the word parenting symbolizes the connection between a child and a parent in the form of guardian or caretaker or biological parents. 

The parenting journey has multiple connotations and intents whereas some required components will make this journey hassle-free, smooth, pleasurable, enjoyable, and satisfying, in the end, every caregiver and guardian needs that peace of mind. Here are some basic approaches to heed mindfully

Effective communication: 

Communication is the key to every connection including the relationship with your children. Communication has numerous pieces /components and manifestations i.e. listening, speaking, and body language. If all pieces are put together, communication might be effective and promote a healthy relationship between a caregiver and a child

Talking or speaking itself has numerous expressions including what/how to initiate conversation, it has many layers and these layers have a significant impact on a child's mental and emotional development. Components are:  

listening: Adequate listening offers a vision to the spokesperson for being heard properly and that vision promotes or strengthens the relationship between caregiver and a child. Anyway, keep in mind while listening to your child:

• Be genuine 

• Maintain eye contact 

• Managing facial expressions 

• Minimizing physical distance

• Do not entertain any other activity

• Concentrate on whatever is being expressed

Adapt listening mood/attitude, gazing into eyes, paying attention, and responding accordingly. This mindset and attitude will facilitate a healthy connection between caregiver and a child and fulfillment of the need of being listened to or heard adequately

Speaking: Here comes the story!

• Scenario or situation truly counts, for instance, the exact sentence carrying a distinct result, if communicated in the playground or at home or while roaming around the community. So be mindful regarding the scenario while speaking to your kid (you can conduct an experiment and have your own discovery)

• The subject or matter you are about to discuss with the child has its own significance, although you have to be mindful to understand the remaining aspects of speaking

• The sentence phrasing and language itself contain many expressions and coatings including vocabulary and wording you picked for communication. Be aware of the selection of vocabulary, always use high-frequency or high energy or high vibrating words or vocabulary, it does not only bring positive energy but also keeps your child's morale high. For instance, interpret these five sentences and it impacts your child's well being 

• You are a good girl 
•  You are a smart girl
•  You are a competent girl
•  You are a brilliant girl
• On many occasions, I discovered that you are a thoughtful and considerate girl

Can you see the difference between all five-sentences phrasing and their vocabulary? Do you think that selection of vocabulary has an impact on your child's emotional and behavioural well-being? Do you think that vocabulary really matters?

• The tone or the pitch of your voice has a mark on your listener, for instance, you are loud, noisy, yelling, shouting, screaming, or articulating softly or holding a tone in a sweet manner, all these styles/tones will retain their own influence on your listener. If you articulate softly and have a sweet tone instead of yelling or being loud, do you think that can make a huge difference? or what is being said and what is being heard?

😊Take your own example, you always enjoy those individuals who maintain a soft/gentle or sweet tone, you always find charisma in their communication and you try to avoid those who always scream, cry or have a critical approach. Think about it!

• How to wrap up a conversation while speaking to your kid? it has a long-lasting impact on the well-being of your child given the fact that the child will carry or absorb that energy and will continue the rest of the day or time with that punch or hit. Always wrapping up with high frequency or high energy sentences, maybe your child is heading to school or moving to the bed for a sound sleep or study or going to work on any assignment. Do you believe that your way of wrapping up communication might carry an impact on the subsequent activity your child is about to get involved in?? Think about it!

Insight 👀

• listening to the parents or caregivers: Nowadays you can listen from parents or caregivers that children do not listen to them or do not pay attention to what is being spoken to them

• Rationale: The reason for the above complaint, as a matter of fact, parents did not realize the significance of listening, so the children did not learn the proper attitude or listening skills from their parents (sorry to say). When they were young, parents did not listen to them properly or missed that listening opportunity 

It was mentioned earlier how much listening and speaking attitude from a communication perspective is important for a child well being and healthy behaviour as well as it has the most significant impact on their life

Topic to be continued......
If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask or comment below